The year begins.
“Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God" (Ruth 1:16)
Two weeks ago, I approached a local Reform rabbi, whom I’ll call Rabbi S, with my story. I told him about how, twenty-five years ago, I’d been deep into study to convert to Judaism. Obliged to abandon that goal due to family reasons, I spent the intervening years wishing I’d never stepped back. Now fifty-five, I didn’t want to live with that regret anymore.
Rabbi S turned out to be a great guy, generous with his time and kindness. And he invited me to continue my studies under his gentle supervision. And the first thing he tasked me with was “living the year,” approaching life and its annual rhythms with a Jewish outlook. To see, hear, and experience from a position of faith and culture many wrongly consider impenetrable.
Challenge accepted, I said. Rabbi S also advised me to keep a journal to record my observations, questions, and other items of interest. You’re reading that journal now, begun on the first day of the year 5786.
Will I emerge from this with the new identity I seek? I hope so, but it’s too soon to know. What I can say is that I won’t be deterred by anything this time. I will see this through, and if the ultimate understanding is that this won’t be my life, I’ll accept that. But only then.